Speechless
by bluesraine
Summary: Maura left Boston to start a new life. And this new life contains a little girl. And the dreams of Jane. Until they become real.
1. Chapter 1

A little more of my favorite couple. A little longer. Written in 3 days, the story has 12 Chapters, which I will upload during the next week, and hope you will enjoy this. Thanks for reading my stories, and even more for all the feedback, good, bad and inbetween. :)

Summary: Maura left Boston to start a new life. And this new life contains a little girl. And the dreams of Jane. Until they become real.

Disclaimer - Yes, Rizolli and Isles still belong to TNT and Tess Gerritsen, but Maura is on my Christmas wishlist, so ... And the song that keeps making me cry and inspired me belongs to The Veronicas - Speechless.

_Cuz you leave me speechless_  
_When you talk to me_  
_You leave me breathless_  
_The way you look at me_  
_You manage to disarm me_  
_My soul is shining through_  
_Can't help but surrender_  
_My everything to you_

Chapter 1 of 12

* * *

**Speechless**

It had taken Maura years, years to get over Jane. Years that have drawn her away from Boston, that have made her travel, not only through the States, but through Europe and Asia as well. After years of traveling, she came back to her old place only to quickly realize it wasn't her home any more. She packed the few personal things and left Boston once again. And she could only hope to leave all the memories behind.

But every night, they haunted her dreams. She stayed in New York for a while, close to her parents, spent time in one of their houses. But she always knew she wanted something on her own, a place just for herself.

And so, almost another year passed until she found a place. She fell in love with a nice house by the sea, where she could sleep with the windows open and just hear the waves brushing on the beach. It had more rooms than she needed, but she didn't care. She filled them with life, clothes, books, music and wine.

When she started her new job as Medical Examiner in a hospital, she ran into Jennifer during the first night shift. Jennifer, a surgeon, mother and wife, saved her from terrible cafeteria food. She invited her to pizza and coke, and over dinner, they started talking. After that night, they tried to spend lunch breaks together, and soon, Jen invited her to meet her family.

They quickly became friends, close friends. Jens husband Jack liked Maura, and their 4 year old daughter Charlotte – Lotta – adored the ME.

They barbequed, the girls went shopping together, they sat on the balcony watching the sunsets. Sometimes, Maura found herself babysitting little Lotta, and even enjoyed reading the toddler bedtime stories. And somehow, for the first time in a very long while, Maura felt comfortable.

Life wasn't always sunny though. The job was stressful, even more than if she had a new student. Sometimes, she missed her parents, and sometimes, she missed Boston. And sometimes, she felt home in her house by the sea.

On a warm day, after her second year in Florida, Maura got a call. The call she always had expected back at her time in Boston. A cop asked her to come to the hospital. There, she was informed her friend Jennifer and Jack died in a car accident, and their 5 year old daughter Charlotte was injured. There was a notice from a lawyer which said that Jennifer had asked to give Charlotte to Maura.

Maura was speechless. Tears formed in her eyes, but she fought them back. She went to see Lotta, who had a broken leg and several cuts. She was asleep by the time Maura arrived. Maura sat there all night, a million thoughts in her head.

It took them months to find a balance together, find a way to figure how they can share their lives. But Lotta liked Maura, and Maura, who never wanted kids, somehow was glad she got her. When Lotta started school, Maura had planned things through, adjusted to her own schedule.

Lotta missed her parents a lot, and Maura tried the best to fill that gap – though she knew she couldn't. But the girl trusted her, and enjoyed their time together. They liked the beach, liked yoga and biking. It wasn't always easy; they fought about little things sometimes, but over all Maura were glad to have the girl under her wings.

On a warm day, they sat on the beach, Maura with a glass of wine in her hand, Lotta with a juice. Their feet sunken deep into the sand; they watch the sun set.

"Maura, can I ask you something?"

"Always."

"Why don't you have a husband?"

Maura looked at the blond girl surprised. "Because I never married."

"But you don't have a boyfriend either."

"That's true."

"Mommy said you like girls."

Now, Maura was stunned. "Well… yes she is right. I do like men and women."

Lotta took a moment to think. "You don't have a girlfriend."

"No, not for a while."

"Do you have a girlfriend where you lived before?"

Maura took a sip of her wine. "Yes, back in Boston, I had a girlfriend", she thoughtfully said.

Lotta imitated her and drank her juice. "What was her name? Tell me about her. Where is she now? Why does she never visit?"

"Oh, you need to slow down." Maura kept quiet for a while. "Her name is Jane. Jane Rizzoli. We met when I started working in Boston. I worked as a medical examiner, and she is a cop. A very tough cop. We became friends, worked a lot together. Sometimes, we went to sports together, or in the evening, shared a beer. Well, she likes wine. She is half Italian, very Italian. Her family is great." Maura smiled. "But that's enough for tonight, okay? Its bedtime."

…


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 of 12, enjoy :)

* * *

The next two days were tough for Maura. She didn't sleep well, and had too many bodies on her table. Along with that, Lotta had a fight with a kid in school. When Maura got the call to pick the girl up, she was just finishing with another body. She let her assistant clean up and hurried to school.

There, she found Lotta with her teacher and principal. The parents of the other kid were already there. When Lotta recognized Maura, she ran over and allowed Maura to hug her. Maura held her for a while, and then had a closer look.

Lotta's nose had been bleeding; her eye was red and started to turn blue. "What happened?" Maura asked her quietly.

"That… that girl… she hit me."

"And why?"

"She said I am a bitch and my parents left. I pushed her, and she fell. Then she hit me."

Maura stroked Lotta's blond hair behind her ears. "Okay. We will go over now, and you will apologize for pushing her." When Lotta wanted to protest, Maura shook her head. "No, you will. No discussion. And after that, we will buy ice cream and also put something cool on your eye, and hang on the couch together, okay?"

The principal informed the parents, that both kids would be suspended for the rest of the week. On the way to the supermarket, Maura called the hospital and informed them that she would use her overtime to take the rest of the week off.

Later, they sat on the couch, watching a cartoon while eating their ice cream. "Are you mad?" Lotta asked.

"No, I am not. I don't like you pushed another kid – but it wasn't okay what she said, and hitting you will have consequences to her. The teachers will have a closer look on her. But next time, I want you to talk to a teacher and me, okay?"

"Okay."

When the cartoon ended, Maura turned the TV off. She rarely had Lotta watching crap like that. "Do you want to play something?"

"No, my head hurts. Can you tell me a story? Oh, can you tell me more about Jane?"

Maura couldn't resist the puppy look on Lotta's face. "Okay. Let's go upstairs, so you can lie down." After the girl was comfortably lying in her bed, Maura stretched out next to her.

"So… Jane and I became friends, you know? We started doing stuff together. We both needed to be fit for our jobs, so we went jogging. We even ran a marathon together. She is a good runner, much faster than I am. When I introduced her to yoga, she didn't take it very serious in the beginning. She wasn't half as good as you were when we started." Lotta grinned proudly. "Jane is very energetic, you know, always up for a joke, always ready to do this or that. It was difficult to her to relax. But then, she started enjoying it. It was nice to go together. Sometimes, after yoga, we went home to Jane's parents, and Jane's mother would cook for us. She is a very good cook. I liked being with them very much. They always treated me like their second daughter."

"Does she like to read?"

"Well, Jane is more into movies, I think. We spend many nights watching movies. We ordered Pizza mostly. You would have enjoyed out movie nights…"

"Where is she?"

"Jane is still in Boston, I think. Sometimes, grown ups fight and relationships split, you know?"

"Do you miss her?" Lotta yawned.

"Yes, I miss her", Maura whispered.

When the girl fell asleep, Maura closed her eyes, clearly seeing the picture of Jane.

_Her black hair pulled into a ponytail, her uniform fitting her nicely, her cell phone in her hands. Jane's gorgeous smile when she looked at her. Maura remembered she was wearing a black dress, she wanted to go out. But instead she ended up in a bar, with Jane. They enjoyed their time together, had beer and wine, and a good laugh. It got late, and when the bar closed, Jane called for a taxi. They went to Jane's place first, when Maura realized she didn't have enough money to pay the way to her home. Jane talked her into staying, and they sat on the porch for a while, watching the moon traveling over the sky. If it wasn't for the alcohol they've had, but at some point, Maura put her head on Jane's shoulder, and Jane flung her arm around Maura's slim shoulders. They couldn't remember how long they sat there, but none of them wanted to move. When Maura started shivering, Jane looked at her. "We should get you inside."_

_Maura suddenly had that warm feeling in her stomach, her pulse rising quickly. Jane must have felt the same. She hesitated, but smiled. It was Maura who first bend forward, softly letting her lips brush over Jane's. She felt Jane's hand gripping her arm, pulling her towards her again, returning the kiss. With that, both were lost. They sunk into the kiss, not able to part, their hands pulling each other closer, holding, and needing to feel each other. _

And while Maura was lost in her memory, she didn't see Lotta watching her smile.

…


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks for all the feedback. Im happy you like this so far :)

Chapter 3 of 12.

* * *

They had a slow morning. Lotta's eye was shining in a bright blue, but her nose recovered already. Maura made pancakes with chocolate chips and cocoa, along with some fruit salad. They enjoyed sitting at the table. Lotta told her about the biological class, where they learned a lot about the local sea life.

"If you want, we can go to the aquarium tomorrow", Maura offered.

"Yes", Lotta shouted, happily dancing around.

"Hey, hey little lady, will you calm down? You will need to rest today."

"I don't want to sit in my bed all day", Lotta pouted.

"We can have a walk along the beach later, but you will spend the morning on the couch. No TV. We can read something."

"Or you tell me about Jane."

Maura hesitated.

"Please?" begged Lotta, making big puppy eyes once again.

"Okay, we can do that. But I will clean up first and you will get dressed."

Later, they sat on the couch. Lotta lay down and put her head on Maura's lap. Carefully, Maura stroked over the long, blond hair.

"One day, Jane had a black eye, too. It was evening, and we just finished working. She had already changed into her normal clothes, and I picked her up when I was walking through the office. We went to a street festival with some of our friends. When we walked to her car later, a bunch of guys was trying to flirt with us. One was hitting on me, getting very close. And Jane stepped in front of me, trying to protect me. The guy wanted to slap her then. He was drunk… Jane ducked away, but his mate hit her hard. Then, she reacted, tossing one on the ground while, holding his hands behind his back. The other cops came to help us. But Jane's right eye was already swollen and deep blue."

"She helped you."

"Yes, she always tried to protect and help me." Maura smiled. "And she is a very good cop."

"Does she like Disneyland?"

Maura had to laugh. "Disneyland? I don't know, I've never asked her."

"Does she like kids?"

"Yes, Jane is very good with kids. Must be the Italian blood. She is a lousy cook though – mostly because she doesn't want to learn I guess. I miss her mother's pasta and cookies."

"We can bake cookies for Christmas. Mommy baked for me."

"Yes we can try. I don't bake much, hmm?"

"No", Lotta grinned. "We can send Jane some."

"Oh, no we can't. I don't have contact with her any more."

"Why?"

"Well, sometimes it is difficult to be in love… Jane never dated a girl before, and all that was new to her. She didn't feel comfortable all the time. I think she was afraid of people talking bad. We never kissed in public, or held hands."

"But she was a cop; nobody could do anything to her."

"Cops aren't invulnerable, Lotta. But she was afraid of gossip, I think. And sometimes, you want not to think, but just steal a kiss or something, and… she turned away. It hurt me. I tolerated it for a long time, being her secret. But that is not how I want to spend my life."

"And you came here?"

"We started fighting, very badly. We started seeing other people. And in the end, I don't think we were friends any more. So I decided to leave. I traveled through Europe, and spend a while in New York. And then, I came here and met your Mommy and you…" She tickled Lotta, happy to hear her giggling.

They spent most of the day on the couch, eating and reading stories. In the evening, Maura took the girl for the promised beach walk, and was thankful when Lotta was in bed later.

Maura had a glass of her favorite wine, and flipped through the TV channels, not finding anything interesting. She went to the study, turned the computer on to pay some bills.

Later, when she went to bed, her room seemed to be huge and empty. She crawled under the blanket, but when she closed her eyes, memories haunted her, again.

She remembered all the nights she spend with Jane, remembered sharing the bed.

_Innocent when they were friends. They enjoyed each others company, sleeping next to each other. After cases, sometimes it wasn't easy to be alone. They needed each other. They needed closeness and comfort. _

_One night, Maura woke up from a dream, finding Jane snuggling close to her. She had to smile, enjoying the feeling of Jane's arms, her slim body pressed to hers. Her slow, steady breathing made her fall asleep quickly again. _

_In the morning, Maura usually woke up alone, finding Jane showered and dressed, with a pot of coffee in her hands and sports pages of the news paper in front of her. _

_After their first night of being together, Jane woke her up with a kiss. A slow, soft kiss, nibbling on her lips until Maura allowed her tongue to slip in. Their hands discovered each others bodies, once again, and made lazy sleepy love. _

Maura snapped out of her memory, tears forming in her eyes.

"Maura, I can't sleep."

She found Lotta standing in the door. "Come on, you can sleep here tonight."

Lotta climbed on the bed and let Maura pull the blanket over her. "Close your eyes, sweetie, I will watch over you." Maura carefully kissed her forehead, closing her own eyes, trying to fight back her tears. But when she heard Lotta's breath relax, a single tear run down her face.

…


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 of 12

(And yes, there will be Jane, soon) 3

* * *

_The sounds of running shoes echoed through the night, sharp breaths making little clouds into the cool air. Jane heard Maura following close behind her, knowing the friend couldn't keep up much longer. _

_But suddenly, the men they followed stopped, and Jane stopped as well. "Hands up where I can see them." _

_They started firing without warning. Jane grabbed behind her, pushing Maura down and behind a car. "Don't move", she said. "Call the police again, they should be here already!"_

_Jane spied around a corner then got up and fired as well. The two men were coming closer. "Maura, take the weapon. Only fire if I can't hold them back. Shoot them if you need."_

_The cop fired and must have hit one person, but then, Maura saw her stumbling back, blood spreading over her shirt. Jane fell, hit hard on the ground. Far away yet quickly getting closer, Maura heard sirens. She wanted to crawl over to Jane when she heard steps. But when the police came closer, the man run away, and Maura rushed over to Jane. _

"Jane!" With a scream, Maura woke up and woke Lotta as well.

"What happened?"

Maura caught her breath. "Just a dream. Everything is okay."

Lotta took her hand. "I will bring you water. Mommy always brought water."

Later, they went to the Aquarium. It was a very warm day. Lotta's eye was colored in all shades of blue and green. She was excited about the trip, jumping up and down in her white dress when they waited in the line. "Do you think they have Manatees?"

"I don't think so; those are way too big for such a small aquarium. But you told me they are living around here. We can go and see them another day, if you want."

They saw many different fish, and Maura read every description at the tanks. Lotta liked the sea horses and sea stars the most. They got a book about sea life and two toys – Lotta decided for sea horses. When Maura paid, Lotta disappeared.

Maura turned around and couldn't see the six year old. "Lotta?" Panic started to grip on her heart. "Lotta?" She looked around, ran through the store. Lotta was nowhere to be seen. When Maura left the store, she saw Lotta walking towards her over the place. Maura ran to her. "Lotta, where have you been? Don't do that ever again." She pulled the girl into a tight hug.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

"I don't… God, kid. I thought Id lost you."

Lotta started to cry. "Don't be mad, don't send me away."

Now Maura held her an arm length away. "What? I would never send you away. You're stuck with me." She softly wiped away the tears away. "Don't cry. I love you, and I can not lose you. I want you to be with me, always."

Lotta smiled under her tears. "I… I… you will keep me?"

"I will." Maura kissed her on the cheek. "You're mine. And I am yours."

When Lotta flung her arms around her neck, Maura lifted her, holding her close. They stood there for a while. Maura's heart was still racing. She rubbed over Lotta's back, over and over again, and inhaled the scent of the kid.

"What did you do here anyway?"

"I…" Lotta hesitated. "I saw something and wanted to look."

"Next time you ask, please."

"Okay."

Maura put Lotta down. "Okay. I'm sorry."

Later, Maura was tired, exhausted from a day of action, yet sleep didn't come. Her head was spinning thoughts, not following one to the end. But the thoughts of Jane came back, no matter how hard she fought them down.

"_Maura? Do you have any idea how beautiful you look in the sun?" Jane ran her finger over Maura's arm. "You are stunning."_

_Maura blushed, bending over for a kiss. "Thank you."_

_Jane giggled. "You're welcome."_

"_We should get up…"_

"_Oh, you need to learn so much! This is supposed to be a lazy Sunday. We lie in bed, watch movies, and have food…"_

"_Ah, movies? Did we see one already?"_

"… _and make love all the time."_

"_That…"_

"… _Works really well so far." Jane pressed her into the mattress. "Being with you is so easy."_

"_That is because you trust me." _

_Jane held Maura's arms behind her head. "Do you trust me?"_

"_With all my heart, Jane."_

Maura remembered all the lazy days… doing nothing than movies, sex, and food. They have had a great time – maybe the best. And suddenly, she missed her so much. After all these years, she missed her like the first day. Maura sighed. "Damn it." As soon as she spoke it out she had to smile. That was a very Jane-ish choice of words.

…


	5. Chapter 5

Hey everybody, thanks for all the sweet reviews. Ive to mention - Im German. I dont understand Spanish or Portugese, Im sorry :( But, thanks for reading and commenting anyway 3

Chapter 5 of 12. :)

* * *

Lotta's eye was fully recovered when she returned to school. For a week, their routine had them back. But both were looking forward the weekend. The weather was supposed to be great, and they had planned a trip to watch Manatees. They would have to travel a bit and spend a night in a hotel. Friday couldn't come early enough.

Maura picked up Lotta at school, and they had dinner. Maura was doing laundry when the door bell rang. She heard Lotta running to open.

"You are here!" the kid said excited.

Maura went to see who the visitor was. And when she reached the door, she found Jane. Lotta tried to disappear. "Whoa, young lady, freeze. Turn around. Come here." Lotta looked at her. "Explain."

"I… she…"

Jane held up a letter, a child's scribbling.

"Okay", Maura whispered, speechless. "Go to your room and finish your homework please." When Lotta had left, Maura looked at Jane, only to find her watching her.

"So, you gonna ask me in or let me die here?"

"Please come in."

Jane followed her to the living room and plopped down on the couch. "Florida, hmm?"

"How did you find me?"

Jane handed her the letter. "Jane Rizoli, Polic Boston", was written on the envelope. Maura looked inside and found her business card as well with a postcard from the aquarium. "Oh", she murmured. "Please come", was written on the card. "That's what she did…"

The cop looked at her puzzled.

"We have been to the aquarium last week, and… when I looked up she was gone. I thought I had lost hear and freaked out. I found her outside; she told me she saw something. I guess that's what she did."

"I got it this morning. I didn't know if something happened to you or… whatever."

"And you came?"

"I came."

They stared at each other, not knowing what to say.

"Do you want water?" Maura offered helpless.

"Maura, are you okay? This doesn't mean you need help, does it?"

"No, I think I am good… I'm sorry she scared you and made you come."

"Are you sorry I am here?"

Maura let out a quiet breath. "I'm surprised."

"You are the one that went away, remember?"

"Don't." Maura shook her head. "Not now."

"Okay."

"We have planned a trip this weekend…"

"I didn't mean to burn your plans. I guess I just… thought you needed me. I can find a hotel and go back tomorrow…"

Maura searched Jane's eyes. She didn't want her to leave right away. "Or you… well if you have time, you could join us. We will see the manatees, they live in a river and you can swim with them. We would stay overnight in a hotel…"

"Yes."

Again, they didn't know what to say. Then, a smile appeared on Jane's lips. And made Maura smile, too.

"Maura", Lotta shouted.

Maura got up. "I've to look… I will be back soon."

A while later, they came down with their backpacks. "I talked to Lotta, and if you are staying anyway, we decided to leave today, and stay there for a day longer… Come on, get your stuff."

"Don't you want to introduce me first?"

"Oh, sorry! Lotta, that's Jane. Jane, this is Charlotte. She obviously wrote you the card."

Jane offered Lotta her hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you. I liked your card."

Lotta hide behind Maura. "Hey", she squeaked.

Jane smiled. "Okay, now we are ready."

Maura got the lunch bag, and when everything was loaded into the car, she found herself looking at Jane on her passenger seat. Out of the blue, she looked very familiar there again.

The trip to the river took them over four hours. Lotta was reading and drawing. Jane and Maura only shared a few words, and those were mostly ramblings when Maura tried to explain where they would be going.

When they reached the hotel, they had to find out that no additional room was available. Maura carried the tired kid while Jane helped her with the bags. They looked around in the room, found a bed and a couch. "That's good with me", Jane said.

Maura put Lotta on the bed. Lotta curled up with her teddy and was asleep before her head hit the pillow.

"Do you want to sleep? You must be tired…"

"Hmm, how about a beer?" Jane checked out the mini bar. "They have wine, too." She took the bottles. "Come on, let's sit on the balcony for a bit."

They sat in the warm night, watched the lights of the city. "So, who is that kid?"

"Lotta is the daughter of a good friend. I met her mother when I came here. A year ago, they died in an accident, and her will was me raising her daughter. We are getting along good most time."

"She is a cutie."

"She is smart and interested in everything."

"Did you turn her into a lexicon yet?"

Maura smiled. "No. I will wait until she is old enough."

Jane grinned. "You sound well."

"I am. I like my job, and having Lotta. This is a great place."

"Boston is still Boston."

"You never left?"

Jane shrugged. "What can I say?"

"Do you have kids?"

"No, no kids. The dog died a month ago."

"I am so sorry." Maura reached out for Jane's hand, stroking over her thumb. "She was a good dog."

Jane nodded.

"You know what? Let's lay down. We will swim with Manatees tomorrow and forget about everything else."

"Okay", Jane only replied, and followed her back inside. She made a bed on the couch while Maura went to bed next to Lotta. They whispered good nights into the dark, as they did many times before.

…


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 of 12

Do you like it so far? :)

* * *

In the morning, Maura woke up alone, the bed next to her empty and cold. Then, she heard giggling and the TV. She sat up and found Jane and Lotta on the couch, watching cartoons. The picture made her smile.

"Good morning", she said.

"Morning", Jane gave back.

"I'm hungry, Maura", Lotta complained.

"Yes Maura, I'm hungry too."

Maura looked at her watch. "Oh. Okay, you, little Miss, put on your swimwear and a dress, and I will have a shower."

Maura took her clothes and went into the shower. After a moment, the door opened. "It's just me", Jane said, "you don't mind me brushing my teeth, do you?"

"Uhm… I guess not."

Jane seemed to take forever, but Maura didn't want to leave the shower while she was in the room. "Okay", Jane finally said, "I'm done."

They went for breakfast in a small restaurant, and then left for swimming. A boat took them on the river. The soft breathe let Maura's hair dance in the wind, and she leaned back, soaking the sun. Lotta listened to the guide, who explained the rules. When they found the Manatees, the boat stopped. "Ready?"

Carefully not to scare the animals, Maura glided into the water. Jane and Lotta followed, and they floated with the water. Then, they saw the sea cows. "Maura", Lotta squeked scared. "Do they bite?"

"No, don't be afraid." She pulled Lotta on her back. "They are very friendly. But if you don't want to get close, we can just stay here…"

They spent over an hour in the water. In the end, Lotta reached out and was able to touch a little Manatee.

They went to a nearby beach later. Lotta started looking for shells while Maura and Jane sat down on a blanket. Maura took her shirt off and felt Jane staring. "I will entertain Lotta for a moment", she said. "I'll be back."

When Maura looked back, she found the brunette stretched out on the blanket, in her bikini, her eyes closed. Maura couldn't pull her eyes away.

"She is pretty", Lotta said.

"Yes, she is."

"And funny."

"That, too." Finally, Maura came to her senses. She laughed and started chasing Lotta.

Water drops ran along Maura's arm. She blinked and opened her eyes.

"Hey, sleepyhead", Jane said. "When I woke up, you and the little monster were sleeping… We built a fire pit and got some food, I thought we could have a barbeque."

Sleepy Maura looked up, directly in Jane's eyes. She swallowed. "Okay, good idea."

"And I built a sand castle", Lotta said, standing behind Jane. "Come look."

Jane offered her hand to pull Maura up. Thankfully, Maura let her, yet touching her brought back memories.

_Jane had talked her into a movie. It was almost midnight and she wanted to see a horror movie. The theatre was stuffed as it was the premiere night. They sat in the middle, but Maura didn't feel comfortable with all the people and leaned towards Jane. _

_The movie started with a huge killing scene, blood splashed all over the screen. After a moment, Jane came closer. "Are you scared?"_

"_Mhh."_

_Carefully, the cop reached out and took her hand. "You know I will protect you."_

_Maura smiled in the dark, linking their fingers. They leaned together, and whenever Maura got scared again, Jane softly pressed her fingers. _

"Earth to Maura…" Jane snipped her fingers. "Maura."

"Oh… yes. Sorry." She went to look on Lotta's castle. The girl seemed to put much energy into it, it was a nice castle, decorated with shells and leaves. "Very pretty."

"Come on, I will take a picture."

Lotta took Jane's cell phone and declared, she wanted a picture of Jane and Maura together as well.

They started a fire, and grilled the food Jane got. Lotta asked endless questions about Jane's job, and Jane answered all of them.

When Lotta got tired they went back to the hotel. The kid talked them into telling her a story together, and so they laid down with her. Lotta snuggled into Maura's arm and listened, till she fell asleep.

And there they were, back together in one bed. "She's a great kid", Jane said.

"She is."

"She wrote me."

"Yes, she has been asking me to tell her stories all the time."

"What did you tell her?"

"That we went to sports, movies and all that stuff. I told her about your family. And your mothers cooking…"

"She loved having you. She still sometimes talks about you."

"How are they?"

"Very well, though getting older."

"And how are you?"

"I… am busy. Still with the police. Still in my house." Jane hesitated. "And I missed you in my life."

Maura wanted to pull her close, wanted to hug her. Suddenly shy, she carefully reached out and touched Jane's little finger. "When I started talking about you, a lot of memories came back. I missed you, too."

…


	7. Chapter 7

Enjoy your weekend! 3

Chapter 7 of 12

* * *

The sun woke Maura, finding herself close to Jane. Jane woke up from the movement as well. They stared at each other until Maura pulled back. "Morning", she mumbled.

"Good morning."

"Slept well?", Maura whispered.

"Yes, good."

"It's Sunday… we need to go back, school tomorrow…"

"I guessed. Do you have work tomorrow?"

"I… Do you?"

"No, I took my overtime."

"Do you need to get back?"

"Hmm." Jane looked at her. "Not if you would want me to stay."

Maura hesitated. "I… I will see if I can get a few days off… I…"

"Shh. We don't need to talk… Call your boss."

Her lips twitched into a smile, Maura got up. She went on the balcony and did a few phone calls. It was no problem to get a few days off, though she had to promise to come in and help if it would get busy. When she came back, Jane looked at her. "I'm off until it's getting busy."

"Good." Jane smiled. "Good."

They had a good breakfast in a small restaurant and drove back after that. They told Lotta stories, listened to her singing, but didn't exchange a personal word.

Back at her place, Maura unpacked. After dinner, she took Lotta to bed. When she came down again she realized she needed to make a bed for Jane.

"Jane? I don't have a guest room."

"Oh."

"Since Lotta is living with me…"

"I see. The couch is fine with me."

"Don't even try… the couch will kill your back. You can have my bed."

"And you will kill your back? Maura don't be foolish. We shared a bed before."

It took only that to let Maura blush in all shades of red.

_The night they kissed was innocent. They kissed and held each other all night. That was all they needed, for a while. _

_It was a Sunday, very stormy weather. They saw a movie, had pizza and wine. But it wasn't for the wine that made them relaxed. They laid on the couch. Jane lazily twirled one of Maura's curls on her finger. _

_Maura turned her head. She smiled about the look on Jane's face. She had to bend over to kiss her beautiful lips. Jane slung her arms around her. She deepened the kiss, and felt Maura's fingers brushed along her throat. When Maura's lips followed the trail, Jane was lost._

_Slowly, Maura's fingers wandered over Jane's arm, her mouth following. She kissed the inside of her hand, her fingertips and back on the inside. Maura looked at Jane, just finding her pleading eyes on her. _

_She took her hand and lead her to her bedroom. They sat down, and shared another kiss. Maura slowly removed Jane's shirt. She ran her fingertip along the bra, kissing every inch of Jane's skin. _

_She reached around to snap the bra open, and looked at Jane while she removed it. Jane bend forward to another kiss. Then, softly, Maura's hand cupped Jane's breast, her finger brushing over it. Jane sighted. They laid back, and Maura's lips continued their journey. _

_She reached the band of Jane's jeans, opened it, pushed it down. She took her time to discover Jane's legs, her stomach, and once again, her lips. Her fingers wandered over her stomach, between her legs, finding her swollen and warm. She kissed her, stroke her. She felt her climax in her arms, her body pressing into hers. _

_After Jane's breathing returned to normal, she kissed Maura. "You're overdressed", she said against her lips. She quickly undressed Maura. "I want to taste you." With that, her lips ran across Maura's body. _

_Then, she slowed down, tasting – proving. She kissed and touched, just the way Maura did before. Gently, Jane kissed her, stroked her until she felt her erupting in her arms, holding her as close as possible._

Jane grinned. "Oh, you dirty little thing!"

Maura slapped her but then laughed. "Stop it."

They finished their wine in silence. Then, Jane carried her bag up, following Maura. She placed her stuff on a chair. Somehow, they found each other sharing the bathroom, smiling at each other in the mirror.

They stood in front of the bed. "Which side is yours?", Jane asked, and jumped on the other.

Maura giggled and followed. She couldn't believe how easy it was just to be with Jane again like that. They turned around until they were comfortable.

"That's good, right?"

"If you don't steal my blanket…"

"Was that a joke, Miss Maura?"

Maura pinched her. "Stop mocking me."

"Stop pinching me!" Within a heartbeat, Jane pulled her into her arms, held her so she couldn't move. Only then she realized what she was doing. They froze, but not moving away from each other. It was Maura who relaxed first. She simply snuggled into the hug, and made Jane remember how it was used to be.

…


	8. Chapter 8

Thanks for all the awesome comments.

To answer the questions... this plays some time after the story, they meet again after about 4 years after Maura left Boston...

Chapter 8 of 12... almost there.

* * *

Jane woke up alone in the morning. When she found the house empty, she went for a quick run.

She came back later and saw Maura on the terrace, sunken in a yoga position. She sneaked closer, and sat down opposite. Maura sensed her presence, smiled. Jane relaxed as well. They sat there, and couldn't tell for how long, enjoying the quiet together.

"I will make breakfast", Maura said then.

"No, let me make pancakes."

"Oh."

"Let me take a quick shower." Jane run upstairs only to come back to start the pancakes while Maura showered.

When she came down, the table was set and the wonderful scent of fresh pancakes let her stomach grumble. "Mhh."

"You missed my pancakes."

"Oh, yes I did. They are so good."

They sat in the sun, a juicy drink in her hands. "Maura?"

"Hmm?"

"I am sorry about our fight."

"I know, me too." Maura looked at her. "But there wasn't any other option than separating. You know that."

"_Jane, are you serious?"_

"_Yes. I don't want people to know. I don't want them to look at me."_

"_Because you are with me?" Maura was deeply hurt._

"_Because we… are together." She reached out for Maura's hands. "Mau, don't misunderstand me. I love being with you. I love to sleep with you, to make love with you, to do all the other things, but…"_

"… _you are not ready."_

"_I am, but I am a cop. I… geez. Why does this have to be so hard?"_

"_Because I want you to stand up, next to me, for what this is. And you are stupid to pretend this is something you need to hide. And you are even more stupid to think I would hide forever…" Maura pulled her hands back. "I… Jane… I don't want to hide forever. If you are not ready for this, for me, after all this time, I… Months, Jane. You are coming to my house every night – and if you don't, I'm at yours." Tears ran over Maura's cheeks. "How can you want to hide all that?"_

_Jane didn't reply. _

"_So, you are serious." Maura took a deep breath. "I am, too. I can't – I don't want to live like this. I think, it might be better to not see each other again."_

_When Jane didn't react, Maura got up. She took her coat, and left, tears streaming over her face._

"What if there would be?"

"What?"

"A way…"

Maura saw hope, maybe desperation in Jane's eyes. And she saw them, together, holding each other. "Which way?" Her voice was trembling.

"I… I miss you", Jane whispered. "You must feel it, too." But Maura didn't reply. "There is something you need to know… You… please, don't hate me."

Maura sighed.

"Okay. So… after you left… I drank. A lot. For a while. Not that I am an alcoholic or anything, but… Well. The guys forced me to stop. They made me go out with them. Coupled me with a guy. I… we liked each other. After a year… he asked me to marry him. And it… seemed the right thing to do. I… I thought it was. When I said the words… I knew they were a lie. He discovered that quickly, too. We separated after three months. I'm divorced now."

Maura stared at the brunette, speechless. Her mind was blank.

"Maura."

When Jane wanted to touch her, Maura got up. "I've to pick up Lotta. Don't you dare leave this place while I am gone…" Her voice, full of anger and hurt. "Don't move."

Maura and Lotta came back hours later, to find Jane in the very same position as Maura has left her. "We brought crab legs and pizza", Lotta shouted. "We will have a food and movie party."

"Woah, kid how did you talk her into that?"

"Stop babbling and get dishes and glasses", Maura ordered and balanced the food into the living room.

They watched kid's movies, had food and laughed. They sat on the floor, lying in front of the TV, and pillows under their arms.

And when Maura wanted to go to bed, Jane gave her a questioning look. Maura still didn't say a word, so Jane just followed her.

They lay next to each other, their arms almost touching. Jane could almost feel her, could feel her soft skin.

Maura heard her breath heavy, could almost hear the thoughts. But she didn't know what to say. She just stretched her little finger, to link it with Jane's.

…


	9. Chapter 9

I hope you all have a better start into this week than I do. Enjoy.

Chapter 9 of 12

* * *

They spent another day in the sun, music running and reading. Maura turned onto her stomach.

"Wait, I will put lotion on your back…"

Jane put the sun lotion in her hands first, then softly on Maura's back. Maura closed her eyes when she felt Jane's fingers. Jane drew creamy circles on her skin. She didn't stop, she couldn't stop touching her. Carefully, she brushed Maura's hair away and massaged her back.

She bent forward, and kissed her neck. Maura shivered. Jane kissed her cheek, kissed the edge of her lips. Maura slowly turned around. Jane didn't hesitate to kiss her again. She pressed her lips on hers, discovered her mouth. Their kiss quickly escalated, their hands running over each others sides.

When Jane pulled back, Maura was breathless. She wanted more, wanted to feel Jane again.

But then, her phone rang.

"I've to go to work", Maura said. "I'm sorry."

"Don't worry. Want me to pick up the kid?"

"Would you?"

"Yes, sure."

"Thanks." Maura looked up to her. "I should probably get dressed and hurry."

When she came down, wearing a skirt and high heels, Jane stared. "Okay, you can call me if there is a problem with Lotta. I will try not to be away too long…" Maura took her bag. "Don't get her tattooed or anything."

"I think I can manage…"

Maura took her keys. Then, she came back, looking at Jane again. She gave her a quick peck, then left.

It was late night when Maura came home. She found the house quiet, the kitchen clean, but a sandwich for her sitting on the table. She sneaked upstairs, finding the 6 year old sound asleep. She gave her a kiss. "I'm home, baby." Lotta turned in her sleep, smiling.

Maura took a hot shower and changed into her nightie. Jane was curled up in the bed, Maura carefully climbed next to her.

"Hey", Jane murmured. "What time is it?"

"Late… I'm sorry, it took forever."

"She had a good time. We finished her homework and went with the bikes. I let her watch Cartoons and we ate sandwiches."

"Thank you for helping out." Maura sighed. "What a day."

"Everything okay?"

"Dead kids."

"I see." Jane turned around to look at her.

_How many nights have they shared like this? Dead bodies, murdered families. Killed kids have always been the hardest, not only to Maura. She needed time when she got home after a day like this. _

_She usually felt better when Jane was around, simply laying next to her. During some nights, she woke up from nightmares. Jane held her until she calmed down, stroked her back. "Just a dream." Both knew it wasn't just a dream, it never was. It was something they saw during the day, every time._

Jane reached out, pulled her towards her. They lay close, only their hands touching.

"Can you forgive me?", Jane whispered into the dark.

"Forgive you what…?"

"That… what happened."

"Jane, maybe the timing was bad. I mean, I knew I was your first. Maybe I wasn't patient enough, I don't know. I was so hurt. I felt so betrayed. You put this picture in my thoughts, a picture of you and me… and then burnt it just like that… I couldn't deal with it. And when we broke up – or however you want to call it – I knew I couldn't stay. I knew you would need somebody, but I always knew we couldn't be friends any more… I left. Maybe you need to forgive me, as well."

"I got married."

"I always expected you to. I always pictured you with two kids."

"But…"

"Jane." Maura brushed over her thumb. "Please. Not tonight. We are fine. I am happy you are here. I missed you terrible."

That was all Jane needed to hear. She kissed Maura. "Okay. Try to sleep, ya? I will hold you, and protect you."

Maura snuggled into her arms, and closed her eyes.

…


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10 of 12

* * *

They spend the week together, enjoying their time. Friday, Jane needed to leave to get back to work. Jane had said goodbye to Lotta before the kid had to go to school. She had a last breakfast on the terrace with Maura, enjoying the morning sun.

"I had a great time", Jane said.

Maura smiled. "Me, too." Then, her look turned sad.

"Oh no, don't." She took her hand.

"I will miss you."

"I will miss you too." Jane pulled her into a hug. "You will visit me, and I will come back. Or – even better – you pack the girl and come for Christmas. My mom will love it."

"Jane I can't. I've to take care for Lotta. I can not travel for and back all the time…"

It was Jane's turn not to know what to say. Maura must know she wouldn't move here. They didn't even know what this was, between them. But they knew there still was something. Beside the few kisses they shared, they had enjoyed holding each other during the nights, nothing more.

Jane sighed. "I wish you would spend Christmas with me", she whispered. She kissed Maura on the cheek, and got up. "Please."

Maura sat there long after Jane was gone. Tears running down her face… She heard Lotta coming home from school later, a friends' mother had dropped her off. "Maura, is Jane gone?"

"Yes, she had to go home."

"Oh." Lotta sat next to Maura. "Will she come back?"

"Well, Lotta, we both have jobs. We can not always travel here and there…"

"Is it because of me?", Lotta said.

"What?"

"Didn't she like me?"

"She likes you a lot, sweetheart. You are funny and smart and the best." She pulled her on her lap. "And I love you."

Lotta hugged her. Then, she looked at Maura. "Can't she be with us?"

"No, she has a job, and her family and… it's not that easy."

Lotta snuggled into Maura's arms, and Maura just held her, not knowing what to say. She missed Jane.

"_Come on get up Maura, it is time."_

_Maura turned around. "It is 6am, Jane."_

"_Christmas morning. Get up, its present time." Jane bounced up and down in bed. "Come on! Get dressed, my family will be waiting."_

"_They will be sleeping when we get there."_

_To Maura's surprise, the whole Rizzoli family was already up, a fire warming the room, hot cocoa waiting for them. The smell of fresh cookies filled the room. They sat together in the living room. Jane's dad gave them their presents, and after that, they got lost in stories and good food. _

_They sat their all day, enjoying the company and the family. It was dark already when Jane took Maura home again, just to take her back into her bed and make slow, soft love to her all night. "Merry Christmas", she whispered._

The memory made Maura smile. She had loved their Christmas. She had enjoyed the time with the family. And the look in Jane's face, when she had taken her hand and led her upstairs. The memory of Jane's lips on her throat made her shiver. She shook her head to get rid of them.

There were so many things to think about. Lotta. Her job; her house. She couldn't just have the kid traveling every weekend. Would she want that herself? And why was she even thinking about it? She had left Boston for a reason, right? To get distance between her and Jane, to find herself again.

And then, it took only a letter to bring Jane back, along with all the memories they've shared… It took them a week to fall back into their roles, and even Lotta fit in the picture… But – what did all of this mean?

Maura could barely breathe. She still had feelings. And Jane woke them up enough to make it hard ignoring them again…

…


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11 of 12

* * *

The month until Christmas passed slowly. Maura didn't tell Jane they would come. They called each other sometimes and then talked for hours, but she didn't mention their visit.

Lotta was super excited when Maura told her they would go and see Jane. When the holidays started, they first visited Maura's parents in New York and from there went to Boston.

It was a day before Christmas, and Maura's heart was racing when she drove the familiar way to Jane's house. Lotta was just as excited as Maura. As soon as the car parked she wanted to hop off. Maura held her back until she had the luggage. "Okay, go ring."

Shivering from the cold they waited until Jane opened the door. "Jane", Lotta bounced up and down. Jane hugged the kid, staring at Maura.

Maura pulled up her shoulders. "Surprise", she grinned.

Jane held her arm out for her, and hugged her tightly when she came over.

They made a quick dinner, and put Lotta down to bed in Jane's spare room. When Maura came back down, Jane was cleaning up.

She sensed Maura watching her and turned around with a smile. "I can't believe you surprised me like that."

"I had a lot to think about, you know. A lot things to decide. It isn't just me any more…" She slowly walked over to Jane. "And then, I realized how much I missed you. And how much I want you." She kissed Jane.

Jane swallowed hard, twice. She kissed Maura, pressing her against the counter. "You have no idea how much I want you, too." Her knee separated Maura's legs, their hips connected. She rubbed her leg against her, kissing her hungrily. Maura moaned into the kiss.

Jane's hands fumbled on the shirt, finally got it off and threw it away. She kissed Maura's shoulders, her breasts. Maura threw her head back in passion. "Hurry", she murmured.

Jane slipped her hand in Maura's Jeans, finding her wet. "My pleasure", she whispered, kissing her. She stroked her, felt her come within a heartbeat.

Maura sank against her. "God, you're trying to kill me."

"Fulfilling your wishes."

Jane led her to the couch, pulled her on her lap. They kissed, Maura's hand stroking over Jane's dark hair, her cheek. Her tongue stroke over Jane's bottom lip, her teeth nibbling the soft flesh. Jane got rid of her shirt, and they managed to get out off their jeans.

Maura let her hands discover Jane again, remembering all her soft spots, touching them, kissing them. Their bodies connected, their hands wandered slowly, enjoying every moment.

Jane kissed Maura, feeling her fingers stroking her, copying every of her movement. Maura's silent moans were everything it needed to bring her over the edge, whispering Maura's name against her lips, feeling her following quickly.

They laid together, holding each other for a while. Then, Jane took Maura's hand. Laying in Jane's bed, Jane loved Maura, once again.

Later, Maura grabbed one for Jane's shirts and put it on, climbing back to Jane.

"Oh, you're already stealing my shirts. I want that back later."

Maura giggled quietly, snuggled her head to Jane's shoulder. Her arms wrapped around Jane's waist, she sighed satisfied. "I can't wait to see your family."

"My mother is super excited; I gave her a call earlier."

They laid in the dark, talking, when they heard naked feet tapping over the floor. "Maura?"

"I'm here, sweetheart."

Lotta crawled onto the bed, slipped under the blanket. "I woke up."

"Did you dream?"

"Mh. Daddy told me that Santa comes during the night and I heard something and…"

"Don't worry, Lotta, Santa will come, but he only brings presents. And I told him to deliver them to my parents. You don't have to be scared", Jane explained. "And if he didn't get the message and still comes, I will make sure he won't get near you."

Maura wrapped the blanket around Lotta, holding her close. When she closed her eyes, having her little girl in her arms, and Jane in her back, she couldn't believe how lucky she was, tonight.

…


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12 of 12. There we are...

* * *

It was early, very early, when the constant jumping of Jane and Lotta woke Maura. "Up, up, Mau, we have to get to my parents, it's Christmas."

"Is it even morning yet?", Maura's voice was a bit grumpy.

"Yes. Get up."

They showered and dressed, and drove to Jane's parents. The snow was knee high on the side of the roads, and a light snow fall set in. The house was decorated, light from the windows shining warm into the dark.

Jane ran, and her mother opened, hugging Maura before she could say a word. She heard the old woman sniffle, and stroke her back until she let her go. The whole family was happy to see Maura, hugged and kissed her. "We are so, so happy you are back."

They had cocoa to warm up, and then moved to the living room. The Christmas tree burnt bright, and presents were placed under it. Maura sat on the couch and talked to Jane's brother while the father handed them presents.

Even they didn't know Maura and Lotta were coming, they had managed to organize presents for them, and Lotta was happy with her new toys and a game. The grown ups were chatting, when Jane waved the little girl to her.

"Okay, little Lady, are you ready?"

"Yes, yes."

"Good." Jane handed her a rolled paper. "There you go."

Proud, Lotta carried the paper to Maura. "Maura?"

Maura took the paper. "What is this?"

"You have to open it." Lotta stood in front of her, waiting excited.

Maura carefully opened the paper roll.

"_My Maura, _

_I asked Lotta for her opinion, and her help. I told her that I love you, and don't want to live without you any more."_

Maura looked up, finding Jane watching her.

"_I also love the little Lady. And so, I asked her if it would be okay for her to be here, and it turned out she loves snow and rain a lot. We made a deal, and I promised we go to Florida during the summer holidays. Also, she wants a dog. I guess we can handle a dog… She made me promise to make you laugh, and happy. _

_And I want that. For the rest of our lives. Will you spend the rest of your life with me? Will you marry me and be my wife?"_

Maura stared at the paper, reading it again. She was afraid she might have misread. She looked up again, Lotta almost bouncing up and down in excitement, Jane on the edge of the couch. Maura opened her mouth, wanted to say something.

Suddenly, she was speechless again. Tears formed in her eyes. Jane stared. "Maura?"

Still, no words left her lips, but she started nodding.

Jane let out a relieved breath.

"What's going on?" her brother Frankie asked.

"Jane asked Maura to marry her and we say yes", Lotta shouted, now hugging Maura.

Maura picked her up, carried her to Jane. "Yes", she whispered before she pressed her lips on hers. "Yes."

Jane laughed, hugged her happily, kissed her again when her family broke into applause. "I love you too", Maura whispered into Jane's ear.

"I want you to be with me, forever. I don't want to waste more years."

"We won't. I will pack my stuff and my kid and be with you. And your family."

"Our", Jane whispered back.

Lotta between them giggled. "I am still here."

"We know", Maura said and kissed her. "Time to kiss you."

"No, no kissing." Lotta laughed when they tickled and kissed her, and got saved by Frankie.

"I'm the uncle now, so let me spoil the kid and stop eating her up." Frankie pulled Lotta on her feet and grabbed some cookies. They started playing with her new game.

And when Maura looked through the room, she saw the family sitting together, smiling and chatting, relaxed and happy. She saw her kid having a great time, and found Jane looking at her, her eyes full of love.

And suddenly, she felt home. Her heart filled with love, and hope, and the dream of being with her woman and kid, let happy tears run down her cheek, and left her speechless. And Jane held her tight.

The end.

* * *

I hope you enjoyed my little story - feedback is very welcome. Thanks for all the words, clicks and favs. 3


End file.
